42 Inventions Couples Actually Need
You need a COUPLE of these.
1. A button on Netflix that picks a movie you both want to watch.2. A button that switches your S.O.’s breath from “Morning stanky” to “Not morning stanky.”3. An app that deletes all of your Ex’s photos, info, and memory from your social media history.4. A device that translates the tone of “OK.” 5. An app that combines Pinterest and Google Cal to remind everyone about anniversaries and birthdays, with gift suggestions.6. A remote that mutes snoring.
7. A closet that never runs out of room.8. For when you walk into an empty house: an automated system that notifies you what your S.O. is up to and when they will be back.9. A toilet that automatically puts the seat back down.10. An app that tells you exactly what you two need when things are tense — e.g., a night out, a night in, a vacation, etc.11. An app that alerts your S.O. that it’s time to buy flowers.12. An invisible camera that captures your most wonderful, candid moments.
13. An app that listens in on your S.O. and sends you soundbites of all the positive things he/she says about you when you’re not around.14. An app called “Would They Like It?” that tells you, when shopping for a gift, whether your S.O. will like it. 15. A washer/dryer that allows you to wash both your clothes at once, but it washes each thing according to your preference and automatically takes things out that need to air-dry.16. An app that decides who wins the fight, presents the solution, and tells you both to get over it and be happy.17. An anti-drool pillow, so when you drool, your S.O. doesn’t wake up and see a puddle of saliva and immediately get grossed out.18. A 3-D version of Skype, so when you are long-distance or out of town, you feel like you’re both in the same room.
19. A reverse button you can press when you meet your S.O.’s friends or family and accidentally say something embarrassing.20. Actually, just a reverse button so you can re-do ANYTHING embarrassing you say.21. A sleep-cuddle position that doesn’t make one of the person’s arms fall asleep.22. An alarm clock that only wakes one person.23. A blanket that is so long that when you sleep, you can actually share it and cuddle and not run out of blanket.24. A Spotify station that plays as soon as you start to get it on, and perfectly matches the tempo of your… sexy times.25. A personal stylist app that picks out your outfits every day and makes you both look like Beyoncé and Jay-Z.
26. An invisible fairy godmother who silently nudges you as a reminder to pay your S.O. a daily, genuine compliment.27. A bank that gives out FREE bags of money any time you have to have a “money talk.”28. A filter that makes all of your couple photos ACTUALLY cute.29. A potion you take so that when you look into each other’s eyes, a crackling fire lights, candles are automatically set, and two glasses of expensive wine appear in front of you.30. A massage robot that looks like your partner, but its hands never, EVER get tired from massaging you.31. A box you can fart into that makes the fart silent and not smelly so it won’t offend your S.O.’s delicate sensibilities.
32. A vitamin you can take when your S.O. is sick so that you don’t automatically get sick too.33. An app that tells your partner why you’re mad at them when you don’t feel like having to explain it.34. A giant sign that reads “TAKEN,” whenever someone tries to flirt with your S.O.35. A Siri-like person who is able to rattle off five amazing (and different) date ideas every Friday and Saturday night.36. A warning light that goes off every time you’re about to give a bad answer to a question.37. Self-collecting bobby pins so your S.O. isn’t always finding them everywhere.38. A bathroom that self cleans all of the hair out of the sink so no one gets grossed out.39. A non-hurty electric fence that keeps you both on your own sides of the bed.40. An automatic spider swatter so no one has to be the hero.41. A device for the closet that prevents you both from ever wearing something so similar that it’s laughable.42. An alarm that goes off when you’re talking with your single friends, alerting you that you’ve talked too much about your relationship problems.